(This has nothing to do with Japan, but sometimes I feel like posting stories here. I'll call them Story Time! WARNING: May be too explicit for some?)
Reaver buried his Prosaic Axe of the Harpy's Vertebrae into another troll's stinking, wart-riddled flesh. A bluish fluid sprayed into his face, almost getting into his mouth. Yet his Chewing Gum of Warding had created a thin film of red, sparkling, cinnamon magic that kept him safe. Good thing. Reaver couldn't handle another night trying to get the blue stains off his tongue.
Robert Frost headbutted another troll beside him, his steel-gray hair fluttering in the desert wind. He spat. “I must stride again/A winter's delicate kiss/Never-ending fades/Into an encroaching dawn.”
“Why do you talk like that?” Reaver blasted the fallen troll in the face with a Rainbow Grammar Hex spell. Every kind of grammar possible. Nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, gerunds, conjunctions. Soon the troll's body parts would rot off in a brilliant array of colors: putrid green, neon orange, rose red, and ultra-violet. Pretty parts.
“I must travel these roads/Only I can take/The long winter's come/On this frozen lake.” Frost mumbled to himself as another troll scraped his claws against his ABAB Glyphed Heavy Free Verse Plate.
“Dude, we're in the desert. It's not winter for the last time.” Reaver ignored his verse spouting companion and just waded further into the clump of trolls, letting his axe make music against their bursting flesh. Streams of blood crossing sand, bubbling like brooks along a long forgotten trail. A mystical song of ancient rhymes of ancient mariners--Ah, crap. Now he was thinking like Frost. I've got to get rid of this guy. I don't want him telling my story. He can't write prose. He's a poet and doesn't seem to know it. That he can't write prose, that is. I wasn't try to rhyme. Seriously.
Waves of trolls kept coming. They spouted such barbaric war cries as:
“ur teh suck, lolz!” One of the grisly beasts wailed, his black braids trailing behind him like licorice in a raging snowstor--ah, stop it!
“then he took an arrow in the knee...” Another murmured, his rancid breath hot on Reaver's neck.
“I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGERS NAO, ROTFL!”
“Gross, stop it!” Reaver beat back the mouth-breather. “Why are you all here? Leave us alone!”
Robert Frost suddenly went epic, stream of consciousness. An Infinity Sonnet. The trolls were entranced, dancing in that break-neck, boogie down style that they do. Frost's tongue loosed such epicness that Reaver had never seen before. Allusions. Alliteration. Onomatopoeia.
“Pow! Boom! Bang! Zoom!” Frost's poems were cold as ice, bro. Trolls flew in every direction, befuddled and battered by the waves of pure poetic carnage. One particularly nasty limerick took off a troll's head, leaving a dancing fountain of warty gore popping and locking as it collapsed in a heap.
How does he does he do it? Is the Poetic Way truly better than my own Prosaic Way? Were the darkest arts of Forgotten Verse truly superior to the Paragraph Magicks?
Reaver, in a jealous rage, unleashed his dreaded Ectoplasmic Ban Hammer of Holy Crushingness. The slime of the lime green hammer left trails of corrected grammar sputtering from the mouths of even the foulest trolls with the foulest of comments.
“lolz” became “That is funny.”
“n00b” became “Rather inexperienced gentleman.”
“pwn3d” became “I defeated you both efficiently and succinctly.”
“ROTFL” became “Ha, ha, ha!”
The trolls howled with displeasure in hearing their twisted, guttural, nonsensical language of bastardized tongues transform into something that actually made sense.
Robert Frost was angry too. As angry as a poet can get. His ice blue eyes shimmered with an unearthly rage that could only exist in the warped mind of a poet who's run out of subject matter. Dark, Gothic poetry fell from his lips. Teenage journals. Ramblings of a collapsed MySpace.
“What is happening to me?/Am I losing my poetic gift/Or something/Ugh!” Frost, wading through the slush of devastated troll goo, pointed a crooked, ink-stained finger at Reaver. “Only one of us can tell this story/Dude!”
Reaver's prose had proven stronger than he expected. The trolls were fleeing or lying in quivering mounds. Their grammar had improved and they were scattering to the farthest reaches of the Earth, back into their dark caves with no light and pictures of scantily clad troll vixens.
It was only Reaver and Frost now. In the desert. Poetry vs. prose.
“My art is more coherent and easier to understand, Frost.” Reaver bellowed. “Your poems are old and obsolete. I am the true Word Weaver!”
Frost's pale skin glistened with sweat. Or maybe they were small comma splices. Reaver wasn't sure. The amalgamation of words still hung in the air, clouding the skies. With a wave of his hand, Reaver cleared the hanging words away. Deleted them almost. Frost seethed.
A ghostly sword made of aborted and long-dead poems appeared in Frost's hand. The tears of broken-hearted bards. The buried verse of Emily Dickinson. The cold-fire and old wine of Poe. The white-hot veins of the Beats, snaking their way through the spectral blade.
“I want to try to/Do this attack in haiku/But they suck bad...man!” Frost pushed the last syllable out with a caustic venom. He was bringing the pain this time.
Reaver blinked and rushed forward, Ban Hammer swinging overhead. He'd smash this poet into oblivion and finish his quest to eliminate distorted language from the world forever. “Eat this!”
A jagged bolt of stream of consciousness rippled across the clear blue sky. “The trails of earth are mine alone and yours are mine and sands and glass and broken dreams all hinge upon the tattered seams of fathers' pride and mothers' eyes galactic squid of ten thousand comets--”
“Ah! Shut up!” Reaver battered his way through the poetic bolt. “Just use regular magic! Regular words!” His hammer came down with the force of highlights, red ink, edits, and revisions. The gooey hammer splashed across Frost's silvery, feathered hair, knocking the poet back into the sand, mumbling something about “spidery silk.”
“I yield./I yield./Yield.” Frost stammered. His poetic-ness had been driven out of him like an exorcised demon. “I will take the road less traveled. Or more traveled. Sorry.”
Reaver looked down at Frost with sadness. A tinge of guilt struck him. Who was he to tell others how to tell their story? To practice their craft? To express themselves? Unless they were babbling trolls, everyone had the right to use their own unique style. Their own magic.
“Stand, Frost.” Reaver offered his troll-mush slicked hand. “There's room in this world for two Wordsmiths. If only we can stand together to fight ignorance, bad grammar, and needless flaming, I care not for how you do so.”
Frost nodded, his grandfatherly head bowing in respect to Reaver. “You are right/dear friend/by which way the sands of time lead us/we all stagger in quicksand.”
“Whatever, dude.” Reaver mumbled, putting his arm around the veteran poet-warrior. “Let's just go kill some more trolls.”
And with that Reaver and Robert Frost ventured to the land of Yutoob to find the troll's den, to finally root them out once and for all. But will the dark and mysterious, cloaked bird-man the Twittering Wanderer with his Sword of Limited Text cross their path? Or the much maligned Free I-Pod Knight of Sullied Dreams?
Who knows? But Reaver shall be ready. Wherever there needs to be moderation. Wherever there needs to be correction. Wherever someone's words need to be moved to another section because they don't go where they were originally placed, Reaver will be there.
Waiting. With his weaving words.
Ah, damn alliteration...
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Japan Hammer: Top 5 Places in Japan (That I've Been)
Sometimes people ask me, "Where's your favorite place in Japan?" Well, that's a difficult question. I have several favorite places for completely different reasons. I have yet to travel all over Japan, but I've been to some of the "hot spots" so to speak. In my opinion, these places are cool, but if you already live in Japan or plan to visit, maybe you'd have a different opinion. I'll also name some popular places that I'm not that fond of for various reasons.
In no particular order, here are my Top 5 Places in Japan:
1. Ueno, Tokyo: For a taste of Tokyo that doesn't completely overwhelm the average tourist or traveler, Ueno has a good blend of stuff that makes Tokyo popular without all the insanity of more popular places. There's a zoo there, several museums, and also tons of shops. The popular shopping area Ameyoko is also nearby which can provide tourists with tons of little souvenirs to take home. I enjoy Ueno Park as well, as it's pretty open and sometimes there are various performers about. There are also a staggering number of homeless people here, but that's not really a good reason to visit.
2. Minato Mirai, Yokohama: This is bar-none one of my favorite places in Japan. The giant Cosmo Clock Ferris wheel is a pretty famous landmark and very beautiful during night time. It's a pretty busy area, but not too much. I like Yokohama more than Tokyo because it has a lot of the same charms, yet Yokohama feels more open and less cramped. There's also several ships in the port to look at and it's a nice place to go for a romantic stroll during the night. I personally like going here in the winter time as it has lots Christmas lights up and makes the walk around that much more entertaining. Also, World Porters has lots of shopping stuff inside if that's your thing.
3. Kiyomizudera, Kyoto-This is a temple in Kyoto which I really enjoyed visiting. It has a breath-taking view during the autumn season with all the changing leaves and is nestled in the mountains for an even better view! This is one of the more famous temples in all of Japan and was extremely crowded when I visited there. I highly recommend Kyoto overall for a "balanced" visit in Japan, as you can see some modern things and still get a taste of the old capital with lots of traditional temples. I spotted a maiko (geisha in training) when I was there and that was sort of cool to just see her walking around.
4. Hakone, Kanagawa- Hakone is a popular tourist spot mostly for its famous onsen (hot springs) but I liked it for its stellar view of Mt. Fuji from one of the nearby mountains. We took a trolley up to the top of this mountain and hiked around and also took a boat ride on the lake. I got sunburned the worst I've probably been in a long time, but it was worth it. This is a great place to relax and enjoy a leisurely stay if you're in Kanagawa.
5. Enoshima, Kanagawa- This list heavily favors Kanagawa as that's where I live, so I have some bias when it comes to talking about the area. Enoshima is really awesome for me. There's a nice beach to hang out at and winding steps up a mountain that leads to many different shops and temples littered throughout. The climb of the steps had this haunting drum music following us everywhere that gave a really cool vibe. I took some time to stare out over the sea wall and smell that salty air. Really makes me relax a lot. The trip all over was tiring but definitely worth it. I highly recommend a stop here especially during hotter times.
Now, here's my list of places that I don't like very much personally. Feel free to give them a shot, but they're not places I'm really into.
1. Roppongi, Tokyo-Roppongi is sort of the gaijin (foreigner) paradise. There are tons of bars, tons of places for entertainment and debauchery. Well, I'm not in my 20s anymore, so that kind of stuff doesn't interest me as much. Plus, the place usually gives me a creepy vibe. I did have a wonderful night here once at a work-related party at the Ritz Carlton with an amazing view of Tokyo Tower lit-up from the 48th (?) floor. But that's unlikely to happen again. So, I have mixed feelings about Roppongi. I've heard many bad stories from other people getting in trouble there, but if you know how to take care of yourself, you should be OK.
2. Shinjuku/Kabukicho, Tokyo-Probably my least favorite of the Tokyo wards would be Shinjuku. I don't know, it just doesn't do anything for me. This area is extremely popular with Kabukicho being more of the "night-life/adult entertainment" district. I was harassed one time when I went down there (I guess I looked like an easy mark) so it put me off on visiting there in the future. Just not really my cup of tea. But I've heard if you really want to get into the more "edgy" side of Japan, Kabukicho is your first stop.
These two places stand out to me the most as being "not my thing," but I'd recommend going there if you're smart with your money, careful with your drinks, and don't follow strange women to strange bars. Then maybe you can still have fun there without ending up in jail at the end of the night.
So, hope you enjoyed by lists! Feel free to ask any questions about other recommendations if you'd like!
In no particular order, here are my Top 5 Places in Japan:
1. Ueno, Tokyo: For a taste of Tokyo that doesn't completely overwhelm the average tourist or traveler, Ueno has a good blend of stuff that makes Tokyo popular without all the insanity of more popular places. There's a zoo there, several museums, and also tons of shops. The popular shopping area Ameyoko is also nearby which can provide tourists with tons of little souvenirs to take home. I enjoy Ueno Park as well, as it's pretty open and sometimes there are various performers about. There are also a staggering number of homeless people here, but that's not really a good reason to visit.
2. Minato Mirai, Yokohama: This is bar-none one of my favorite places in Japan. The giant Cosmo Clock Ferris wheel is a pretty famous landmark and very beautiful during night time. It's a pretty busy area, but not too much. I like Yokohama more than Tokyo because it has a lot of the same charms, yet Yokohama feels more open and less cramped. There's also several ships in the port to look at and it's a nice place to go for a romantic stroll during the night. I personally like going here in the winter time as it has lots Christmas lights up and makes the walk around that much more entertaining. Also, World Porters has lots of shopping stuff inside if that's your thing.
3. Kiyomizudera, Kyoto-This is a temple in Kyoto which I really enjoyed visiting. It has a breath-taking view during the autumn season with all the changing leaves and is nestled in the mountains for an even better view! This is one of the more famous temples in all of Japan and was extremely crowded when I visited there. I highly recommend Kyoto overall for a "balanced" visit in Japan, as you can see some modern things and still get a taste of the old capital with lots of traditional temples. I spotted a maiko (geisha in training) when I was there and that was sort of cool to just see her walking around.
4. Hakone, Kanagawa- Hakone is a popular tourist spot mostly for its famous onsen (hot springs) but I liked it for its stellar view of Mt. Fuji from one of the nearby mountains. We took a trolley up to the top of this mountain and hiked around and also took a boat ride on the lake. I got sunburned the worst I've probably been in a long time, but it was worth it. This is a great place to relax and enjoy a leisurely stay if you're in Kanagawa.
5. Enoshima, Kanagawa- This list heavily favors Kanagawa as that's where I live, so I have some bias when it comes to talking about the area. Enoshima is really awesome for me. There's a nice beach to hang out at and winding steps up a mountain that leads to many different shops and temples littered throughout. The climb of the steps had this haunting drum music following us everywhere that gave a really cool vibe. I took some time to stare out over the sea wall and smell that salty air. Really makes me relax a lot. The trip all over was tiring but definitely worth it. I highly recommend a stop here especially during hotter times.
Now, here's my list of places that I don't like very much personally. Feel free to give them a shot, but they're not places I'm really into.
1. Roppongi, Tokyo-Roppongi is sort of the gaijin (foreigner) paradise. There are tons of bars, tons of places for entertainment and debauchery. Well, I'm not in my 20s anymore, so that kind of stuff doesn't interest me as much. Plus, the place usually gives me a creepy vibe. I did have a wonderful night here once at a work-related party at the Ritz Carlton with an amazing view of Tokyo Tower lit-up from the 48th (?) floor. But that's unlikely to happen again. So, I have mixed feelings about Roppongi. I've heard many bad stories from other people getting in trouble there, but if you know how to take care of yourself, you should be OK.
2. Shinjuku/Kabukicho, Tokyo-Probably my least favorite of the Tokyo wards would be Shinjuku. I don't know, it just doesn't do anything for me. This area is extremely popular with Kabukicho being more of the "night-life/adult entertainment" district. I was harassed one time when I went down there (I guess I looked like an easy mark) so it put me off on visiting there in the future. Just not really my cup of tea. But I've heard if you really want to get into the more "edgy" side of Japan, Kabukicho is your first stop.
These two places stand out to me the most as being "not my thing," but I'd recommend going there if you're smart with your money, careful with your drinks, and don't follow strange women to strange bars. Then maybe you can still have fun there without ending up in jail at the end of the night.
So, hope you enjoyed by lists! Feel free to ask any questions about other recommendations if you'd like!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Japan Hammer: Top 5 Reasons I Like Living in Japan
Haven't done a blog about living in Japan recently, so I'd figure I'd highlight some reasons I like living here. After the Tohoku Earthquake in 2011, I think a lot of people were put off living here or even visiting for fear of radiation or other assorted things. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't afraid of the same things, but I stuck it out and stayed here and I seem fine so far. I feel for the people in Fukushima that are near the reactors as I used to live in Fukushima myself and saw how many wonderful people live in that area.
So as a tribute to Japan, I'm going to list the Top 5 reasons I like living here.
1. Cuteness:
If you like cute stuff, then Japan is the place for you. There are tons of cute things to find and I'm not really sure why this kind of thing is so prevalent here. There are tons of these little dogs wearing sweaters and jackets and hats. It's rather bizarre. I saw one day at a nearby mall there was this dog wearing a yellow hat and he kept trying to get it off his head, but his owner kept putting it back on. I felt kind of bad for the dog, but he did look cute. However, I wanted to free him from his cute prison and let him be a nasty, shit-eating dog like he's meant to be.
I like cute stuff, I guess. I like kittens and puppies and babies burping and all that happy jazz. But Japan kind of goes so overboard with it, it sort of has desensitized me to it. Even if I see a tiny dog wearing a tiny hat and sailor outfit, I'm unfazed.
So for my future, I'm glad Japan has made me numb to cuteness. It makes it easier for me to ignore the avalanche of cuteness that buries me on a consistent basis.
2. Politeness
Even when people are assholes here, they're relatively polite. Typically, people don't fight as much as they do in America and when they do fight it's relatively stupid. Just shouting and talking like yakuza to each other. I've never seen anyone get punched here, but maybe I just don't go out that much.
"Sumimasen" and "gomenasai" are relatively common terms, basically meaning "excuse me" and "sorry." I must use both of these words at least twenty times a day for various reasons. And "arigato gozaimasu." I'm always thanking someone for something. Buy something at the store? Arigato gozaimasu. Open a door? Arigato gozaimasu. Take a shit? Arigato gozaimasu.
Suffice it to say, people are nice for the most part. Not sure if they like me or not, but in general people are pretty nice to me. Sometimes weirdly nice like the night some random guys just bought me and my friend drinks without even speaking that much English (and our Japanese is bastardized).
And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say about 1 in 10 people I meet in America are stupid assholes/hillbillies/racists/shitheads/douchebags or some variant of said troglodytes or cretins.
3. I Don't Have to Fucking Drive
I used "fucking" there for a reason. I hate driving. I fucking hate it. If I could kill the verb "driving" I would. If I could destroy all the cars in the world, I would. I hate them.
Here, I walk. Walk. Walk. Take a bus. Take a train.
And you know what? I really hated that when I first moved here. But now I love it. Namely, because, you got it, I don't have to fucking drive. Transportation is a breeze here, especially if you live near a big city like I do. So good for me. Bad for you driving your evil devil machines.
4. Lots of Stuff I Love is Here
Puroresu, which I've fell in love with more since moving here, is right at my door step. I can watch awesome wrestling shows whenever I feel like on the cheap. Going to wrestling shows in America is quite a crap shoot. Sometimes the shows are good. Sometimes they suck donkey balls. Puroresu shows are almost always awesome. Even the crappy matches are brilliant.
My wife is here too. But not to say she couldn't follow me anywhere I go. It's nice to live in her home country though as it's easier for both of us now at the moment. I worry if we moved to America she'd be targeted by racists or experience some kind of horrible shit that would forever make me hate all human beings on Earth. So for now I like living here with her, where we have a nice, insulated life free of any overwhelming issues.
5. Like, Mind-Expansion, Man
Dude...I've totally like blown my mind here, bro. Since moving here I've become about 1,000 percent more productive in my daily life. Not to say I still don't waste shit-tons of hours playing video games and surfing the internet for dubstep songs, wrestling news, and pictures of cracked- out celebrities.
I have Twitter and I don't even really know anyone on there. I just read what other people are doing. I waste too much time on shit like that even now. However, I'm still way more productive than I was before.
I write a shit lot more. I still don't really submit things much, because I've been working on manga mostly. I've written three manga and two novels since moving here. Several short stories too. I tend to have a fear of submitting stuff because sometimes it just feels like I'm sending a baby chimp into a black hole of yawning nothingness. It makes me sad. But I still write and plot submitting stuff, so that's better than just talking about it like I did before.
I've written articles and blogs too. Entered contests. Become one of the moderators on a board. Planned to learn how to fight with swords.
Yes, fight with swords. How fucking ridiculous does that sound? "I'm going to learn to fight with swords."
It's ridiculously awesome I mean. I want to invite you to my house to battle me with a broad sword so I can pin your shirt sleeve to the wall and say "My name is Philip Overby. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Then I'll laugh and twist my invisible mustache. Then I'll disappear into a cloud of black ash.
So yeah, I think I did lots of cool creative stuff back home, but I'm leaps and bounds above what I was before. I'm getting some shit done. And learning Japanese on top of that!
So that's my list. You should come to Japan. Because it's awesome. No matter what people say.
So as a tribute to Japan, I'm going to list the Top 5 reasons I like living here.
1. Cuteness:
If you like cute stuff, then Japan is the place for you. There are tons of cute things to find and I'm not really sure why this kind of thing is so prevalent here. There are tons of these little dogs wearing sweaters and jackets and hats. It's rather bizarre. I saw one day at a nearby mall there was this dog wearing a yellow hat and he kept trying to get it off his head, but his owner kept putting it back on. I felt kind of bad for the dog, but he did look cute. However, I wanted to free him from his cute prison and let him be a nasty, shit-eating dog like he's meant to be.
I like cute stuff, I guess. I like kittens and puppies and babies burping and all that happy jazz. But Japan kind of goes so overboard with it, it sort of has desensitized me to it. Even if I see a tiny dog wearing a tiny hat and sailor outfit, I'm unfazed.
So for my future, I'm glad Japan has made me numb to cuteness. It makes it easier for me to ignore the avalanche of cuteness that buries me on a consistent basis.
2. Politeness
Even when people are assholes here, they're relatively polite. Typically, people don't fight as much as they do in America and when they do fight it's relatively stupid. Just shouting and talking like yakuza to each other. I've never seen anyone get punched here, but maybe I just don't go out that much.
"Sumimasen" and "gomenasai" are relatively common terms, basically meaning "excuse me" and "sorry." I must use both of these words at least twenty times a day for various reasons. And "arigato gozaimasu." I'm always thanking someone for something. Buy something at the store? Arigato gozaimasu. Open a door? Arigato gozaimasu. Take a shit? Arigato gozaimasu.
Suffice it to say, people are nice for the most part. Not sure if they like me or not, but in general people are pretty nice to me. Sometimes weirdly nice like the night some random guys just bought me and my friend drinks without even speaking that much English (and our Japanese is bastardized).
And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say about 1 in 10 people I meet in America are stupid assholes/hillbillies/racists/shitheads/douchebags or some variant of said troglodytes or cretins.
3. I Don't Have to Fucking Drive
I used "fucking" there for a reason. I hate driving. I fucking hate it. If I could kill the verb "driving" I would. If I could destroy all the cars in the world, I would. I hate them.
Here, I walk. Walk. Walk. Take a bus. Take a train.
And you know what? I really hated that when I first moved here. But now I love it. Namely, because, you got it, I don't have to fucking drive. Transportation is a breeze here, especially if you live near a big city like I do. So good for me. Bad for you driving your evil devil machines.
4. Lots of Stuff I Love is Here
Puroresu, which I've fell in love with more since moving here, is right at my door step. I can watch awesome wrestling shows whenever I feel like on the cheap. Going to wrestling shows in America is quite a crap shoot. Sometimes the shows are good. Sometimes they suck donkey balls. Puroresu shows are almost always awesome. Even the crappy matches are brilliant.
My wife is here too. But not to say she couldn't follow me anywhere I go. It's nice to live in her home country though as it's easier for both of us now at the moment. I worry if we moved to America she'd be targeted by racists or experience some kind of horrible shit that would forever make me hate all human beings on Earth. So for now I like living here with her, where we have a nice, insulated life free of any overwhelming issues.
5. Like, Mind-Expansion, Man
Dude...I've totally like blown my mind here, bro. Since moving here I've become about 1,000 percent more productive in my daily life. Not to say I still don't waste shit-tons of hours playing video games and surfing the internet for dubstep songs, wrestling news, and pictures of cracked- out celebrities.
I have Twitter and I don't even really know anyone on there. I just read what other people are doing. I waste too much time on shit like that even now. However, I'm still way more productive than I was before.
I write a shit lot more. I still don't really submit things much, because I've been working on manga mostly. I've written three manga and two novels since moving here. Several short stories too. I tend to have a fear of submitting stuff because sometimes it just feels like I'm sending a baby chimp into a black hole of yawning nothingness. It makes me sad. But I still write and plot submitting stuff, so that's better than just talking about it like I did before.
I've written articles and blogs too. Entered contests. Become one of the moderators on a board. Planned to learn how to fight with swords.
Yes, fight with swords. How fucking ridiculous does that sound? "I'm going to learn to fight with swords."
It's ridiculously awesome I mean. I want to invite you to my house to battle me with a broad sword so I can pin your shirt sleeve to the wall and say "My name is Philip Overby. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Then I'll laugh and twist my invisible mustache. Then I'll disappear into a cloud of black ash.
So yeah, I think I did lots of cool creative stuff back home, but I'm leaps and bounds above what I was before. I'm getting some shit done. And learning Japanese on top of that!
So that's my list. You should come to Japan. Because it's awesome. No matter what people say.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Wrestle Kingdom VI: Live Perspective Review
Also available at Puroresu Spirit.
Wrestle Kingdom VI. My second Wrestle Kingdom in a row. Last year saw Hiroshi Tanahashi capture the IWGP Heavyweight Championship from Satoshi Kojima. After a full year of defenses, Tanahashi defends against challenger Minoru Suzuki going for a record 11 defenses.
I was surprised that my seats were on the floor (pleasantly) but I because people kept moving their heads around and such, it was harder for me to see some of the action. I did however get some decent pictures as I was right by the Blue Corner's exit guardrail.
The show seemed to be about as packed as last time, and overall I would say the quality of matches were good, but they didn't really match Wrestle Kingdom V in my opinion. The crowd seemed more subdued than last year as well, but that may have been just because my location made it harder to hear the reactions overall.
So, on to the show!
0. Dark Match: Tama Tonga and Captain New Japan vs. Kyosuke Mikami and Tomaki Honma
ENTRANCE:
-Standard entrances for both teams.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Captain New Japan looks like a red version of Capt. America with an inflatable New Japan shield.
-Tama Tonga worked the opening match last year as well. His style and look is heavily influenced by Jimmy Snuka.
-The heel team looked thrown together, but worked together well.
CROWD REACTION:
-The crowd was into Tonga's flashy offense, but the match ended pretty quickly.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-A cool series of spots and good fan reaction made Tonga the star of this match in my opinion.
WINNER: Tonga hits swinging DDT on Mikami.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Good match to give the fans some action as they're taking their seats.
1. IWGP Jr. Tag Team Championship Match
No Remorse Corps: Davey Richards and Rocky Romero (c) vs.
Apollo 55: Prince Devitt and Ryusuke Taguchi
ENTRANCE: Apollo 55 had a memorable entrance with their astronaut outfits. Definitely one of my most unique entrances I've ever see. New Japan really does their entrances well.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Lots of kicking as expected and some cool dives to the outside.
-Richards looked a bit more subdued than his ROH-style.
-Richards tied up a Tequila Sunrise at one point which was a nice throw-back.
-A brilliant exchange of kicks ends with a Pele' from Devitt to Richards.
-Romero had a funny spot where he screamed and clotheslined Devitt in the corner over and over again only to be clipped by a clothesline of Devitt in the end.
-A doomsday flying knee from NRC!
-Richards does an impressive superplex followed by a float-over suplex.
CROWD REACTION:
-Fans were firmly behind Apollo 55. There was some heat for NRC when they cut off some of the outside dives.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Richards/Devitt displayed some great technical moves, though I'm curious how awesome a singles match between the two would be.
WINNER: Taguchi pins Richards after reversing a powerbomb into a roll-up.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-A fine opening match for Wrestle Kingdom though could have been longer.
2. AERIAL KINGDOM
Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask IV, Mascara Dorada, and KUSHIDA vs.
Atlantis, Valiente, TAKA Michinoku, and Taichi
ENTRANCES:
-The heel team came out to "Party Rock" by LMFAO, which I thought was funny for a heel team to be using. But Taichi is on the team so it makes sense.
-The face team had an "Atom" mascot (or Astro Boy in the US) come out then suddenly a flashing anime of a tiger looking guy flashed on the screen and crowd popped big. Liger's song boomed through the arena.
-Liger is wearing a really awesome outfit this year. He has white hair, silver mask, and a silver suit. He looks like some kind of ghost or something. Cool look.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Taichi gets what I'm going to call "Spot Blocking Heat" by cutting off a dive early in the match. This seems to be an ongoing way to get heat for the New Japan heels, especially in a match full of high fliers.
-Lots of body splashes on Liger.
-Taichi does a series of spots where he tries to take off everyone's masks. He starts with Liger, then Tiger Mask, then Dorada. Crowd, of course, hates this. Rotten Taichi!
-There were a series of high spots involving dives to the outside. The most impressive was Dorada, who did some kind of strange, twisting splash.
-There was a botch from either Atlantis or Valiente. I couldn't tell which one.
-Liger hits a powerbomb and a stalling brainbuster!
CROWD REACTION:
-Taichi got the most heat with his "take off everyone's masks" spot.
-There was an audible laugh from the botched dive.
-Liger was super-over and had the coolest ring gear of the night. Kudos to whoever designed it.
-KUSHIDA shined a bit in the match. Good to see him make his debut at the Tokyo Dome.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Liger was most over, but Dorada had some nice moments. I'd say Dorada by a hair.
WINNER: Liger with a brainbuster on Atlantis
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Good match to let everyone get some spots in, but nothing that really stood out, besides the awesome dive from Dorada and Liger's cool ring gear.
3. NEW JAPAN RESPIRATION
Kazuchika Okada vs. YOSHI-HASHI (Nobuo Yoshihashi)
ENTRANCES:
-Okada introduces a new gimmick, Rainmaker, with a video of money raining down. Supposedly he's working as a face in this match against YOSHI-HASHI representing CHAOS.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Pretty standard back and forth, YOSHI-HASHI spits on the ref.
-Okada hits an impressive missile drop kick.
-I have no idea what happened, but Okada hit some weird looking clothesline thing. I don't even know what it was. Match is over.
CROWD REACTION:
-Not much either way. The crowd said "Ehhh?" after the match ended abruptly. I'm assuming their match got cut for time. It seemed like it was over in three minutes.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Okada, because he won.
WINNER: Okada with a weird finisher.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-This match didn't have any shining moments really and I think it suffered from time constraints. Okada wouldn't be finished tonight with his bizarre behavior.
4. BLUE JUSTICE NEVER DIE (I know it's misspelled)
Blue Justice: Yuji Nagata and Wataru Inoue vs.
STACK OF ARMS: Masakatsu Funaki and Masayuki Kono
ENTRANCES:
-Blue Justice gets a strong reaction, particularly Nagata.
-STACK OF ARMS come out with an All Japan flag.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Lots of stiff kicks as expected from Nagata and Funaki.
-Nagata gets a big pop for stretching his arm and rolling his eyes back in his head. I guess that's a signature look he has.
-Inoue hits an impressive deadlift German on Funaki for a good reaction.
-Funaki kicks the shit out of Inoue's head. And that's it.
CROWD REACTION:
-There was a show-down at the end, as Funaki was bleeding from the nose. He looked pissed. He headbutted Nagata in the face so maybe that's how it happened. The crowd buzzed for this.
-Nagata was loved as expected. Kono and Funaki got heat (presumably because they're from All Japan.)
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Nagata and Funaki will be an awesome singles series I think. Seems that's where they are leading.
WINNER: Funaki after a head kick on Inoue.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Looking forward to seeing Funaki and Nagata having some singles matches. They're both very intense veterans.
5. TOKYO MONSTER WAR
MVP and Shelton Benjamin vs. Masato Tanaka and Yujiro Takahashi
ENTRANCES: The Complete Players come out together (with Jado and Gedo, I believe) and MVP and Benjamin had separate entrances. MVP had flames shooting out of the stage when he came in.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Benjamin hits some big slams at the beginning and MVP follows with two Ballin' Elbows, which the crowd screams back "Ballin'!" Not sure they know where that comes from.
-Some nice spots between MVP and Tanaka. Tanaka splashes MVP through a table so I assume this match has no rules. He hits Benjamin with a kendo stick afterward.
-A nice reversal from MVP out of hip toss shows how agile he is.
-Benjamin gets the big exploder powerslam. Takahashi answers with a belly to belly.
-Great series of German suplexes from MVP and he kips up for a nice reaction.
-Benjamin climbs up the ropes like a cat and throws Takahashi and MVP locks in the crossface. Takahashi taps.
CROWD REACTION:
-MVP and Benjamin both got good pops for their offense.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-MVP and Benjamin both did a good job. I haven't seen much of their work outside WWE, but they both seem a bit freer with their offense.
WINNER: MVP with a crossface on Takahashi
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-The match was pretty good and gave MVP and Benjamin a way to show off their talent on a big stage at Tokyo Dome.
6. IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship Match
Bad Intentions: Giant Bernard and Karl "Machine Gun" Anderson (c) vs.
TenKoji: Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima
ENTRANCES:
-Most awesome entrance of the night had Anderson with a prop machine gun that he shot at a digital picture of Tanahashi holding a girl in a bikini listing him as "The MVP of New Japan" or something like that. The picture caught on fire.
-TenKoji's entrance showed their history together which I thought was a nice touch. They got a big pop when they came out together.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Kojima flexes his pecs (a la' Chris Masters) after putting down Anderson. In a funny moment, Anderson slams Kojima and mimics the pec flex.
-For some reason the crowd makes a hissing sound when Tenzan does Mongolian chops. Tenzan makes the sound, but it's barely audible.
-Bad Intentions flatten Tenzan after repeated elbow drops and knee drops.
-Tenzan reverses a brain buster into a big suplex.
-Kojima suddenly channels Kenta Kobashi and chops Bernard like crazy.
-Anderson hits a running Liger bomb and then Bernard gives a series of Vader bombs.
-Kojima and Anderson trade Cutters.
-Tenzan hits a massive headbutt.
-Kojima breaks up a pin for a big pop and close nearfall after double team action from Bad Intentions pick apart Tenzan.
-Stiff assisted powerbomb from Bad Intentions gets a very, very close nearfall. Bernard looks shocked as Tenzan kicks out.
-A 3D on Anderson from TenKoji.
-Tenzan goes up top and hits a huge moonsault for the pin.
CROWD REACTION:
-This match got the best reactions of the nights. Lots of pops for the near falls and a huge pop for the title change.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Everyone involved was awesome. A perfect tag match. Lots of drama and an emotional win for the reunited TenKoji. Bad Intentions were very gracious in their loss and had a spectacular title reign.
WINNER: Tenzan moonsault on Bernard.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-This match was the best of the night by far. Great match that highlighted the strengths of everyone involved and had great drama to it.
7. NJPW vs. NOAH BATTLE CONCENTRATION I
Hirooki Goto vs. Takashi Sugiura
ENTRANCES:
-Goto was wearing a red kabuki wig of some sort, which looked pretty cool. Sugiura had a no nonsense entrance which fit his character's style.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Lots of stiff strikes as expected from the two bruisers. Sugiura is one of the stiffest competitors in all of Japan in my opinion.
-After a series of clotheslines, Goto hits a nice spinning lariat that knocks Sugiura loopy.
-Sugiura hits some bruising Yakuza kicks in the corner over and over.
-Lots of "fake outs" where one opponent runs the ropes and the other seems to lose where the other went. Sugiura takes an opportunity with a nice spear.
-Very cringe-worthy german suplex into the corner turnbuckle (or post pad?) from Suguira, dumping Goto on his head.
-Sugiura unloads some running hip attacks, blasting Goto repeatedly. Goto looks done.
-Sugiura gives a dragon suplex and Goto kicks out. Sugiura looks annoyed.
-A brilliant sries of moves from Goto: headbutt, standing lariat, and a weird spin move.
-Goto hits a stalling suplex into a front slam for the pin.
CROWD REACTION:
-Crowd was into the offense. Goto had his fair share of chants. Sugiura's no nonsense character isn't as over with the more flashy New Japan gimmicks. But his moves are brutal and I think that's what wins the crowds over to him.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-The match was obviously made to make Goto look awesome in the face of a beast like Sugiura who gave him quite a beating. Goto looks goods coming out of this match beating a tough competitor and former GHC Heavyweight Champion.
WINNER: Goto with suplex into front slam on Sugiura.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-This was a pleasant suprise for me as I was expecting a "by the book" sort of match with these two, with lots of stiff strikes and that would be about it. But this was one of the best matches on the card.
8. FIGHTING WITHOUT HONOR OR HUMANITY
Togi Makabe vs. Yoshihiro Takayama
ENTRANCES:
-Crowd loves Makabe. He's sort of a wild man take on Bruiser Brody. Not quite as wild, but has that appeal. Takayama looks very imposing compared to Makabe.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Takayama's offense is by far the most brutal looking in all of puroresu. When he does back suplexes and germans they have this sort of slow motion, car crash effect. I'm saying this in a good way. His moves look like they really hurt. Especially his repeated knee lifts.
-This was Takayama's match. He brutalized Makabe for the first part even hitting a drop kick!
-Lots and lots of knee lifts from Takayama.
-Makabe answers a big boot from Takayama with a lariat and hits a gigantic powerslam.
-Biggest spot of the night has to be the ending sequence when Makabe hits an avalanche release german suplex from the top (also known as Spider Suplex.) Then finishes him off with a flying knee drop to the back of the head.
CROWD REACTION:
-Huge pop for the finishing sequence. Unbelievable to see live.
-Takayama's offense all got groans from the audience. As if to say "damn, that looks like it hurts."
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Another match, like Goto's, which was intended to make Makabe look strong, especially after the prolonged beat down from Takayama at the beginning.
WINNER: Makabe with King Kong Knee Drop.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Nice match with some stiff strikes and the insane Spider Suplex from Makabe.
9. NJPW vs. NOAH BATTLE CONCENTRATION II
CHAOS Top Team: Shinsuke Nakamura and Toru Yano vs.
GHC Heavyweight Champion Go Shiozaki and Naomichi Marufuji
ENTRANCES:
-Nakamura and Yano make separate entrances.
-Shiozaki has a standard entrance. It's easy to spot the NOAH guys as they don't seem to fit in stylistically with the New Japan guys. This is the first time I've really noticed how NOAH is more straight-up puroresu and New Japan is more like sports entertainment (although the good kind.)
-Marufuji is wearing a cool red Hayabusa style mask for his ring entrance. Not sure if that was by design or not. I'd love to see another Hayabusa type gimmick in Japan. Some of the most popular characters in Japan are masked or have painted faces (Hayabusa, Tiger Mask, Great Muta, Great Sasuke, Ultimo Dragon, etc.)
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-There's a buzz when Nakamura and Marufuji face off. Looking forward to seeing a possible show down with them. Nakamura always gets people buzzing it seems. Same thing happened when he faced off with Suwama at the ALL TOGETHER show in Tokyo.
-Yano has lots of funny moments in this match. Messing with Shiozaki's hair and acting like a bully in general.
-Marufuji stands on Yano's face.
-Yano has it out for Shiozaki's hair as I think I saw him grab a pair of scissors from somewhere and try to cut it.
-Yano takes off the post guard and throws Marufuji into it.
-Nakamura swaggers around and beats up on a weakened Marufuji.
-Yano hits a stalling brainbuster and a dropkick.
-Shiozaki gets in some of his signature chops in and flying shoulder tackle.
-Yano does his "RVD" style taunt, which the crowd chants with him. He pulls hair again. The crowd pops for all his heel antics.
-A series of awesome kicks from Nakamura and Marufuji. Lucky for Marufuji, Nakamura misses two round house kicks that looked dangerous.
-When Nakamura goes for the Boma Ye, Marufuji counters by kicking the crap out of Nakamura's knee.
-Shiranui from Marujui gets big pop.
-A series of reversals and cradles from Yano and Shiozaki result in the Go Flasher for the pin.
-In a strange sequence, it appeared as if Marufuji was trying to break up the pin from Shiozaki twice. Why would he break up the pin for his own team? I didn't understand that.
CROWD REACTION:
-The crowd loved Nakamura and Yano. Especially Yano's cheap tactics. They popped big for all of them. I'd say Yano was one of the most over wrestlers on the whole show.
-Nakamura is one of the those wrestlers that people just get excited about. He should stay in the main event scene for a long time.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Even though they lost, Yano and Nakamura were absolutely the stars of the match. Specifically Yano, who the crowd seems to like more and more.
WINNER: Shiozaki with the Go Flasher on Yano.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-As a bully type of heel, Yano is really over. I'd love to see him transition to a bigger role as he gets some of the best reactions on any card I've seen him on.
10. GENIUS FACES GENIUS
Tetsuya Naito vs. Keiji Mutoh
ENTRANCES:
-Mutoh comes out to a big pop with a video showing him throughout the years.
-The crowd is excited for Naito as they are chanting his name over and over.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Most of this match was dragon screw leg whips from Mutoh and working the leg. He must have hit like 20 dragon screws in this match.
-Naito gets some nice moves in, but everytime he gets a flurry of offense, Mutoh schools him again and takes him down.
-Mutoh hits repeated Shining Wizards on Naito throughout the match, which Naito keeps kicking out of.
-This match had the slowest pace on the card (not that it's a bad thing) and had lots of back and forth mat work.
-Naito hits a huge Frankensteiner on Mutoh for a nearfall but misses the Stardust Press after a series of suplexes and slams.
-After several Shining Wizards, Naito collapses and Mutoh hits a moonsault for the win.
CROWD REACTION:
-Crowd seemed convinced that Naito would have a "passing the torch" moment with Mutoh and they didn't pop as big as I'd expected when Mutoh won.
-They seemed confused by Naito ignoring the hand shake after the match.
-Tons of Naito chants. I wonder if New Japan missed a chance to strike while the iron was hot. A win over Mutoh would have been huge for Naito. Perhaps a heel turn is in store for Naito, but I don't see why. He's more over than Tanahashi or at least tonight he was.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Can't really say. The match was designed to show how the younger version of Mutoh (Naito) could hang with a man he's idolized. He hung with him, but couldn't pull off the victory. I'm hoping this isn't another stall in the push for Naito, though it looks like it is.
WINNER: Mutoh with a moonsault.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-I feel like the right person won, but on the wrong night. I think Mutoh should have had a series of matches with Naito where he bests him and then had them square off at Wrestle Kingdom where Mutoh would finally be beaten by the younger mirror image of himself. I understand wanting to protect Mutoh's legacy, but not really sure why they did it at the expense of one of their hottest stars.
11. IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Minoru Suzuki
ENTRANCES:
-In a video package, Mutoh makes fun of Tanahashi's "I love everyone" babyface persona. HE simulates flipping back his hair. That gets a laugh from the crowd.
-Both men make their standard entrances, Tanahashi with the awesome video package that highlights all of the previous champions. I love seeing that.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-The two chain wrestle at the beginning. Suzuki manages to get Tanahashi on the top rope and does an abdominal stretch. Ouch.
-Suzuki catches Tanahashi off a dive and chokes him, dragging him up the ramp.
-Suzuki goes for a piledriver on the ramp, but Tanahashi back body drops him instead.
-In a funny spot, Suzuki does leg exercises on the mat as they referee counts a downed Tanahashi after Suzuki lays him out.
-Suzuki his three sick headbutts. He laughs at Tanahashi's offense.
-Tanahashi hits a flying forearm for a big pop.
-When Tanahashi goes for a splash to the outside, Suzuki locks in a cross arm-breaker over the top rope.
-Tanahashi goes for his finisher (frog splash) but Suzuki blocks it with double knees.
-Tanahashi comes up bleeding from the mouth after a capture german suplex from Suzuki.
-When Suzuki locks in the choke again, Tanahashi fades and the crowd rallies behind him.
-Small chant for Suzuki after he kicks out of one finisher.
-Tanahashi hits one frog splash on Suzuki's back and another on his front for the three count.
CROWD REACTION:
-Tanahashi is definitely still the top star in New Japan from the way the crowd got behind him. He's an absolutely fantastic wrestler, but I think it was a foregone conclusion he was going to win. Suzuki is a strong challenger and made the match very believable. I thought he was going to win several times.
-Tanahashi had a lot of the crowd behind him in this match, but it didn't seem as enthusiastic as last year. When he won last year, the place exploded. When he won this year the crowd cheered, but it was like they already expected it.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Tanahashi's win cements his legacy as one of the best champions in Japanese history, having a record 11 title defenses. The match was designed for that moment.
WINNER: Tanahashi following two frog splashes on Suzuki.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Wrestle Kingdom VII definitely will need something new going into their main event next year. Tanahashi victorious two years in a row may lose it's lustre. I expect a title change early in the year and there are tons of strong challengers waiting in the wings (Goto, Makabe, Okada, maybe Naito down the line.)
-Okada coming out seemed kind of bizarre at the end, especially when he just kind of shrugged after Tanahashi basically said "I'm tired right now" (at least I guess that's what he said.)
-A lengthy air guitar post-match celebration left the fans going home happy. I think they did the air guitar bit maybe two or three too many times though.
WRESTLE KINGDOM VI AFTERMATH:
-New tag champions for both heavyweight and junior heavyweight divisions shows that New Japan is shifting around some talent. I'm not sure who future challengers will be for either of the new champion teams, but I figure there will be a series of rematches in the near future.
-Tanahashi is still champion and goes down in history as one of the greateast champions in Japanese history. Not sure how much longer this can last though.
-I was hoping for my surprises and special guests, but there weren't any.
-Naito losing to Mutoh could be a big blow to his push, but it shouldn't be. I hope they don't turn him heel as I think he has potential to be the next big babyface to step in the main event role.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
-Looks like Okada is going to be the first challenger for Tanahashi. He's a very intriguing pick for a challenger as his new character seems to be very aloof. Very strange considering most heel challengers are more tough guys or arrogant. Okada just seems like he's above everything. A very intereting character going forward.
-TenKoji should get a series of excellent rematches from Bad Intentions. Perhaps even a series with Nakamura and Yano (although I rather see both pushed as singles wrestlers.)
-MVP looks strong going forward in the New Year and I expect more matches from him and Masato Tanaka.
-Naito needs to get a big win to get back on track.
-Apollo 55 are a great team, but I question taking the titles off NRC so quickly. Not sure where both teams go from here besides continuing their feud.
-The New Japan vs. NOAH matches were both very good. The stark difference between NOAH and NJPW is becoming more apparent to me.
-Tanahashi is probably the longest running champion in the world right now. Whoever beats him should be a big deal. I'm hoping they're planning for a fresh new face to take over whenever that happens. Much kudos to Tanahashi for being a strong champion and in an industry where hot-shotting happens so much, staying relevent in the main event.
So that's another Wrestle Kingdom in the books. Looking forward to next year!
Biggest Pops
Wrestle Kingdom VI. My second Wrestle Kingdom in a row. Last year saw Hiroshi Tanahashi capture the IWGP Heavyweight Championship from Satoshi Kojima. After a full year of defenses, Tanahashi defends against challenger Minoru Suzuki going for a record 11 defenses.
I was surprised that my seats were on the floor (pleasantly) but I because people kept moving their heads around and such, it was harder for me to see some of the action. I did however get some decent pictures as I was right by the Blue Corner's exit guardrail.
The show seemed to be about as packed as last time, and overall I would say the quality of matches were good, but they didn't really match Wrestle Kingdom V in my opinion. The crowd seemed more subdued than last year as well, but that may have been just because my location made it harder to hear the reactions overall.
So, on to the show!
0. Dark Match: Tama Tonga and Captain New Japan vs. Kyosuke Mikami and Tomaki Honma
ENTRANCE:
-Standard entrances for both teams.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Captain New Japan looks like a red version of Capt. America with an inflatable New Japan shield.
-Tama Tonga worked the opening match last year as well. His style and look is heavily influenced by Jimmy Snuka.
-The heel team looked thrown together, but worked together well.
CROWD REACTION:
-The crowd was into Tonga's flashy offense, but the match ended pretty quickly.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-A cool series of spots and good fan reaction made Tonga the star of this match in my opinion.
WINNER: Tonga hits swinging DDT on Mikami.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Good match to give the fans some action as they're taking their seats.
1. IWGP Jr. Tag Team Championship Match
No Remorse Corps: Davey Richards and Rocky Romero (c) vs.
Apollo 55: Prince Devitt and Ryusuke Taguchi
ENTRANCE: Apollo 55 had a memorable entrance with their astronaut outfits. Definitely one of my most unique entrances I've ever see. New Japan really does their entrances well.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Lots of kicking as expected and some cool dives to the outside.
-Richards looked a bit more subdued than his ROH-style.
-Richards tied up a Tequila Sunrise at one point which was a nice throw-back.
-A brilliant exchange of kicks ends with a Pele' from Devitt to Richards.
-Romero had a funny spot where he screamed and clotheslined Devitt in the corner over and over again only to be clipped by a clothesline of Devitt in the end.
-A doomsday flying knee from NRC!
-Richards does an impressive superplex followed by a float-over suplex.
CROWD REACTION:
-Fans were firmly behind Apollo 55. There was some heat for NRC when they cut off some of the outside dives.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Richards/Devitt displayed some great technical moves, though I'm curious how awesome a singles match between the two would be.
WINNER: Taguchi pins Richards after reversing a powerbomb into a roll-up.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-A fine opening match for Wrestle Kingdom though could have been longer.
2. AERIAL KINGDOM
Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask IV, Mascara Dorada, and KUSHIDA vs.
Atlantis, Valiente, TAKA Michinoku, and Taichi
ENTRANCES:
-The heel team came out to "Party Rock" by LMFAO, which I thought was funny for a heel team to be using. But Taichi is on the team so it makes sense.
-The face team had an "Atom" mascot (or Astro Boy in the US) come out then suddenly a flashing anime of a tiger looking guy flashed on the screen and crowd popped big. Liger's song boomed through the arena.
-Liger is wearing a really awesome outfit this year. He has white hair, silver mask, and a silver suit. He looks like some kind of ghost or something. Cool look.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Taichi gets what I'm going to call "Spot Blocking Heat" by cutting off a dive early in the match. This seems to be an ongoing way to get heat for the New Japan heels, especially in a match full of high fliers.
-Lots of body splashes on Liger.
-Taichi does a series of spots where he tries to take off everyone's masks. He starts with Liger, then Tiger Mask, then Dorada. Crowd, of course, hates this. Rotten Taichi!
-There were a series of high spots involving dives to the outside. The most impressive was Dorada, who did some kind of strange, twisting splash.
-There was a botch from either Atlantis or Valiente. I couldn't tell which one.
-Liger hits a powerbomb and a stalling brainbuster!
CROWD REACTION:
-Taichi got the most heat with his "take off everyone's masks" spot.
-There was an audible laugh from the botched dive.
-Liger was super-over and had the coolest ring gear of the night. Kudos to whoever designed it.
-KUSHIDA shined a bit in the match. Good to see him make his debut at the Tokyo Dome.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Liger was most over, but Dorada had some nice moments. I'd say Dorada by a hair.
WINNER: Liger with a brainbuster on Atlantis
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Good match to let everyone get some spots in, but nothing that really stood out, besides the awesome dive from Dorada and Liger's cool ring gear.
3. NEW JAPAN RESPIRATION
Kazuchika Okada vs. YOSHI-HASHI (Nobuo Yoshihashi)
ENTRANCES:
-Okada introduces a new gimmick, Rainmaker, with a video of money raining down. Supposedly he's working as a face in this match against YOSHI-HASHI representing CHAOS.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Pretty standard back and forth, YOSHI-HASHI spits on the ref.
-Okada hits an impressive missile drop kick.
-I have no idea what happened, but Okada hit some weird looking clothesline thing. I don't even know what it was. Match is over.
CROWD REACTION:
-Not much either way. The crowd said "Ehhh?" after the match ended abruptly. I'm assuming their match got cut for time. It seemed like it was over in three minutes.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Okada, because he won.
WINNER: Okada with a weird finisher.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-This match didn't have any shining moments really and I think it suffered from time constraints. Okada wouldn't be finished tonight with his bizarre behavior.
4. BLUE JUSTICE NEVER DIE (I know it's misspelled)
Blue Justice: Yuji Nagata and Wataru Inoue vs.
STACK OF ARMS: Masakatsu Funaki and Masayuki Kono
ENTRANCES:
-Blue Justice gets a strong reaction, particularly Nagata.
-STACK OF ARMS come out with an All Japan flag.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Lots of stiff kicks as expected from Nagata and Funaki.
-Nagata gets a big pop for stretching his arm and rolling his eyes back in his head. I guess that's a signature look he has.
-Inoue hits an impressive deadlift German on Funaki for a good reaction.
-Funaki kicks the shit out of Inoue's head. And that's it.
CROWD REACTION:
-There was a show-down at the end, as Funaki was bleeding from the nose. He looked pissed. He headbutted Nagata in the face so maybe that's how it happened. The crowd buzzed for this.
-Nagata was loved as expected. Kono and Funaki got heat (presumably because they're from All Japan.)
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Nagata and Funaki will be an awesome singles series I think. Seems that's where they are leading.
WINNER: Funaki after a head kick on Inoue.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Looking forward to seeing Funaki and Nagata having some singles matches. They're both very intense veterans.
5. TOKYO MONSTER WAR
MVP and Shelton Benjamin vs. Masato Tanaka and Yujiro Takahashi
ENTRANCES: The Complete Players come out together (with Jado and Gedo, I believe) and MVP and Benjamin had separate entrances. MVP had flames shooting out of the stage when he came in.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Benjamin hits some big slams at the beginning and MVP follows with two Ballin' Elbows, which the crowd screams back "Ballin'!" Not sure they know where that comes from.
-Some nice spots between MVP and Tanaka. Tanaka splashes MVP through a table so I assume this match has no rules. He hits Benjamin with a kendo stick afterward.
-A nice reversal from MVP out of hip toss shows how agile he is.
-Benjamin gets the big exploder powerslam. Takahashi answers with a belly to belly.
-Great series of German suplexes from MVP and he kips up for a nice reaction.
-Benjamin climbs up the ropes like a cat and throws Takahashi and MVP locks in the crossface. Takahashi taps.
CROWD REACTION:
-MVP and Benjamin both got good pops for their offense.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-MVP and Benjamin both did a good job. I haven't seen much of their work outside WWE, but they both seem a bit freer with their offense.
WINNER: MVP with a crossface on Takahashi
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-The match was pretty good and gave MVP and Benjamin a way to show off their talent on a big stage at Tokyo Dome.
6. IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championship Match
Bad Intentions: Giant Bernard and Karl "Machine Gun" Anderson (c) vs.
TenKoji: Hiroyoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima
ENTRANCES:
-Most awesome entrance of the night had Anderson with a prop machine gun that he shot at a digital picture of Tanahashi holding a girl in a bikini listing him as "The MVP of New Japan" or something like that. The picture caught on fire.
-TenKoji's entrance showed their history together which I thought was a nice touch. They got a big pop when they came out together.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Kojima flexes his pecs (a la' Chris Masters) after putting down Anderson. In a funny moment, Anderson slams Kojima and mimics the pec flex.
-For some reason the crowd makes a hissing sound when Tenzan does Mongolian chops. Tenzan makes the sound, but it's barely audible.
-Bad Intentions flatten Tenzan after repeated elbow drops and knee drops.
-Tenzan reverses a brain buster into a big suplex.
-Kojima suddenly channels Kenta Kobashi and chops Bernard like crazy.
-Anderson hits a running Liger bomb and then Bernard gives a series of Vader bombs.
-Kojima and Anderson trade Cutters.
-Tenzan hits a massive headbutt.
-Kojima breaks up a pin for a big pop and close nearfall after double team action from Bad Intentions pick apart Tenzan.
-Stiff assisted powerbomb from Bad Intentions gets a very, very close nearfall. Bernard looks shocked as Tenzan kicks out.
-A 3D on Anderson from TenKoji.
-Tenzan goes up top and hits a huge moonsault for the pin.
CROWD REACTION:
-This match got the best reactions of the nights. Lots of pops for the near falls and a huge pop for the title change.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Everyone involved was awesome. A perfect tag match. Lots of drama and an emotional win for the reunited TenKoji. Bad Intentions were very gracious in their loss and had a spectacular title reign.
WINNER: Tenzan moonsault on Bernard.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-This match was the best of the night by far. Great match that highlighted the strengths of everyone involved and had great drama to it.
7. NJPW vs. NOAH BATTLE CONCENTRATION I
Hirooki Goto vs. Takashi Sugiura
ENTRANCES:
-Goto was wearing a red kabuki wig of some sort, which looked pretty cool. Sugiura had a no nonsense entrance which fit his character's style.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Lots of stiff strikes as expected from the two bruisers. Sugiura is one of the stiffest competitors in all of Japan in my opinion.
-After a series of clotheslines, Goto hits a nice spinning lariat that knocks Sugiura loopy.
-Sugiura hits some bruising Yakuza kicks in the corner over and over.
-Lots of "fake outs" where one opponent runs the ropes and the other seems to lose where the other went. Sugiura takes an opportunity with a nice spear.
-Very cringe-worthy german suplex into the corner turnbuckle (or post pad?) from Suguira, dumping Goto on his head.
-Sugiura unloads some running hip attacks, blasting Goto repeatedly. Goto looks done.
-Sugiura gives a dragon suplex and Goto kicks out. Sugiura looks annoyed.
-A brilliant sries of moves from Goto: headbutt, standing lariat, and a weird spin move.
-Goto hits a stalling suplex into a front slam for the pin.
CROWD REACTION:
-Crowd was into the offense. Goto had his fair share of chants. Sugiura's no nonsense character isn't as over with the more flashy New Japan gimmicks. But his moves are brutal and I think that's what wins the crowds over to him.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-The match was obviously made to make Goto look awesome in the face of a beast like Sugiura who gave him quite a beating. Goto looks goods coming out of this match beating a tough competitor and former GHC Heavyweight Champion.
WINNER: Goto with suplex into front slam on Sugiura.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-This was a pleasant suprise for me as I was expecting a "by the book" sort of match with these two, with lots of stiff strikes and that would be about it. But this was one of the best matches on the card.
8. FIGHTING WITHOUT HONOR OR HUMANITY
Togi Makabe vs. Yoshihiro Takayama
ENTRANCES:
-Crowd loves Makabe. He's sort of a wild man take on Bruiser Brody. Not quite as wild, but has that appeal. Takayama looks very imposing compared to Makabe.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Takayama's offense is by far the most brutal looking in all of puroresu. When he does back suplexes and germans they have this sort of slow motion, car crash effect. I'm saying this in a good way. His moves look like they really hurt. Especially his repeated knee lifts.
-This was Takayama's match. He brutalized Makabe for the first part even hitting a drop kick!
-Lots and lots of knee lifts from Takayama.
-Makabe answers a big boot from Takayama with a lariat and hits a gigantic powerslam.
-Biggest spot of the night has to be the ending sequence when Makabe hits an avalanche release german suplex from the top (also known as Spider Suplex.) Then finishes him off with a flying knee drop to the back of the head.
CROWD REACTION:
-Huge pop for the finishing sequence. Unbelievable to see live.
-Takayama's offense all got groans from the audience. As if to say "damn, that looks like it hurts."
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Another match, like Goto's, which was intended to make Makabe look strong, especially after the prolonged beat down from Takayama at the beginning.
WINNER: Makabe with King Kong Knee Drop.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Nice match with some stiff strikes and the insane Spider Suplex from Makabe.
9. NJPW vs. NOAH BATTLE CONCENTRATION II
CHAOS Top Team: Shinsuke Nakamura and Toru Yano vs.
GHC Heavyweight Champion Go Shiozaki and Naomichi Marufuji
ENTRANCES:
-Nakamura and Yano make separate entrances.
-Shiozaki has a standard entrance. It's easy to spot the NOAH guys as they don't seem to fit in stylistically with the New Japan guys. This is the first time I've really noticed how NOAH is more straight-up puroresu and New Japan is more like sports entertainment (although the good kind.)
-Marufuji is wearing a cool red Hayabusa style mask for his ring entrance. Not sure if that was by design or not. I'd love to see another Hayabusa type gimmick in Japan. Some of the most popular characters in Japan are masked or have painted faces (Hayabusa, Tiger Mask, Great Muta, Great Sasuke, Ultimo Dragon, etc.)
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-There's a buzz when Nakamura and Marufuji face off. Looking forward to seeing a possible show down with them. Nakamura always gets people buzzing it seems. Same thing happened when he faced off with Suwama at the ALL TOGETHER show in Tokyo.
-Yano has lots of funny moments in this match. Messing with Shiozaki's hair and acting like a bully in general.
-Marufuji stands on Yano's face.
-Yano has it out for Shiozaki's hair as I think I saw him grab a pair of scissors from somewhere and try to cut it.
-Yano takes off the post guard and throws Marufuji into it.
-Nakamura swaggers around and beats up on a weakened Marufuji.
-Yano hits a stalling brainbuster and a dropkick.
-Shiozaki gets in some of his signature chops in and flying shoulder tackle.
-Yano does his "RVD" style taunt, which the crowd chants with him. He pulls hair again. The crowd pops for all his heel antics.
-A series of awesome kicks from Nakamura and Marufuji. Lucky for Marufuji, Nakamura misses two round house kicks that looked dangerous.
-When Nakamura goes for the Boma Ye, Marufuji counters by kicking the crap out of Nakamura's knee.
-Shiranui from Marujui gets big pop.
-A series of reversals and cradles from Yano and Shiozaki result in the Go Flasher for the pin.
-In a strange sequence, it appeared as if Marufuji was trying to break up the pin from Shiozaki twice. Why would he break up the pin for his own team? I didn't understand that.
CROWD REACTION:
-The crowd loved Nakamura and Yano. Especially Yano's cheap tactics. They popped big for all of them. I'd say Yano was one of the most over wrestlers on the whole show.
-Nakamura is one of the those wrestlers that people just get excited about. He should stay in the main event scene for a long time.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Even though they lost, Yano and Nakamura were absolutely the stars of the match. Specifically Yano, who the crowd seems to like more and more.
WINNER: Shiozaki with the Go Flasher on Yano.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-As a bully type of heel, Yano is really over. I'd love to see him transition to a bigger role as he gets some of the best reactions on any card I've seen him on.
10. GENIUS FACES GENIUS
Tetsuya Naito vs. Keiji Mutoh
ENTRANCES:
-Mutoh comes out to a big pop with a video showing him throughout the years.
-The crowd is excited for Naito as they are chanting his name over and over.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-Most of this match was dragon screw leg whips from Mutoh and working the leg. He must have hit like 20 dragon screws in this match.
-Naito gets some nice moves in, but everytime he gets a flurry of offense, Mutoh schools him again and takes him down.
-Mutoh hits repeated Shining Wizards on Naito throughout the match, which Naito keeps kicking out of.
-This match had the slowest pace on the card (not that it's a bad thing) and had lots of back and forth mat work.
-Naito hits a huge Frankensteiner on Mutoh for a nearfall but misses the Stardust Press after a series of suplexes and slams.
-After several Shining Wizards, Naito collapses and Mutoh hits a moonsault for the win.
CROWD REACTION:
-Crowd seemed convinced that Naito would have a "passing the torch" moment with Mutoh and they didn't pop as big as I'd expected when Mutoh won.
-They seemed confused by Naito ignoring the hand shake after the match.
-Tons of Naito chants. I wonder if New Japan missed a chance to strike while the iron was hot. A win over Mutoh would have been huge for Naito. Perhaps a heel turn is in store for Naito, but I don't see why. He's more over than Tanahashi or at least tonight he was.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Can't really say. The match was designed to show how the younger version of Mutoh (Naito) could hang with a man he's idolized. He hung with him, but couldn't pull off the victory. I'm hoping this isn't another stall in the push for Naito, though it looks like it is.
WINNER: Mutoh with a moonsault.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-I feel like the right person won, but on the wrong night. I think Mutoh should have had a series of matches with Naito where he bests him and then had them square off at Wrestle Kingdom where Mutoh would finally be beaten by the younger mirror image of himself. I understand wanting to protect Mutoh's legacy, but not really sure why they did it at the expense of one of their hottest stars.
11. IWGP Heavyweight Championship Match
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Minoru Suzuki
ENTRANCES:
-In a video package, Mutoh makes fun of Tanahashi's "I love everyone" babyface persona. HE simulates flipping back his hair. That gets a laugh from the crowd.
-Both men make their standard entrances, Tanahashi with the awesome video package that highlights all of the previous champions. I love seeing that.
MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:
-The two chain wrestle at the beginning. Suzuki manages to get Tanahashi on the top rope and does an abdominal stretch. Ouch.
-Suzuki catches Tanahashi off a dive and chokes him, dragging him up the ramp.
-Suzuki goes for a piledriver on the ramp, but Tanahashi back body drops him instead.
-In a funny spot, Suzuki does leg exercises on the mat as they referee counts a downed Tanahashi after Suzuki lays him out.
-Suzuki his three sick headbutts. He laughs at Tanahashi's offense.
-Tanahashi hits a flying forearm for a big pop.
-When Tanahashi goes for a splash to the outside, Suzuki locks in a cross arm-breaker over the top rope.
-Tanahashi goes for his finisher (frog splash) but Suzuki blocks it with double knees.
-Tanahashi comes up bleeding from the mouth after a capture german suplex from Suzuki.
-When Suzuki locks in the choke again, Tanahashi fades and the crowd rallies behind him.
-Small chant for Suzuki after he kicks out of one finisher.
-Tanahashi hits one frog splash on Suzuki's back and another on his front for the three count.
CROWD REACTION:
-Tanahashi is definitely still the top star in New Japan from the way the crowd got behind him. He's an absolutely fantastic wrestler, but I think it was a foregone conclusion he was going to win. Suzuki is a strong challenger and made the match very believable. I thought he was going to win several times.
-Tanahashi had a lot of the crowd behind him in this match, but it didn't seem as enthusiastic as last year. When he won last year, the place exploded. When he won this year the crowd cheered, but it was like they already expected it.
STAR(S) OF THE MATCH:
-Tanahashi's win cements his legacy as one of the best champions in Japanese history, having a record 11 title defenses. The match was designed for that moment.
WINNER: Tanahashi following two frog splashes on Suzuki.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
-Wrestle Kingdom VII definitely will need something new going into their main event next year. Tanahashi victorious two years in a row may lose it's lustre. I expect a title change early in the year and there are tons of strong challengers waiting in the wings (Goto, Makabe, Okada, maybe Naito down the line.)
-Okada coming out seemed kind of bizarre at the end, especially when he just kind of shrugged after Tanahashi basically said "I'm tired right now" (at least I guess that's what he said.)
-A lengthy air guitar post-match celebration left the fans going home happy. I think they did the air guitar bit maybe two or three too many times though.
WRESTLE KINGDOM VI AFTERMATH:
-New tag champions for both heavyweight and junior heavyweight divisions shows that New Japan is shifting around some talent. I'm not sure who future challengers will be for either of the new champion teams, but I figure there will be a series of rematches in the near future.
-Tanahashi is still champion and goes down in history as one of the greateast champions in Japanese history. Not sure how much longer this can last though.
-I was hoping for my surprises and special guests, but there weren't any.
-Naito losing to Mutoh could be a big blow to his push, but it shouldn't be. I hope they don't turn him heel as I think he has potential to be the next big babyface to step in the main event role.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
-Looks like Okada is going to be the first challenger for Tanahashi. He's a very intriguing pick for a challenger as his new character seems to be very aloof. Very strange considering most heel challengers are more tough guys or arrogant. Okada just seems like he's above everything. A very intereting character going forward.
-TenKoji should get a series of excellent rematches from Bad Intentions. Perhaps even a series with Nakamura and Yano (although I rather see both pushed as singles wrestlers.)
-MVP looks strong going forward in the New Year and I expect more matches from him and Masato Tanaka.
-Naito needs to get a big win to get back on track.
-Apollo 55 are a great team, but I question taking the titles off NRC so quickly. Not sure where both teams go from here besides continuing their feud.
-The New Japan vs. NOAH matches were both very good. The stark difference between NOAH and NJPW is becoming more apparent to me.
-Tanahashi is probably the longest running champion in the world right now. Whoever beats him should be a big deal. I'm hoping they're planning for a fresh new face to take over whenever that happens. Much kudos to Tanahashi for being a strong champion and in an industry where hot-shotting happens so much, staying relevent in the main event.
So that's another Wrestle Kingdom in the books. Looking forward to next year!
Biggest Pops
1. TenKoji title win
2. Tanahashi victory
3. Naito/Mutoh
4. Yano
5. MVP and Shelton Benjamin
Most Heat
1. Suzuki
2. NRC
3. Taichi
4. Bad Intentions (although some pops for them)
5. Sugiura
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Drill Bits: My Vision of Pro Wrestling
Do you know Orville Brown? Mil Mascaras? Rikidozan? Google them. Go ahead. I'll wait.
If you had to Google them, maybe pro wrestling isn't as important to you as you thought. Wrestling has and will always be a big part of my life. Meaning I study every aspect of the business. I believe everyone should be required to take a test before they ever become a promoter. Like a driver's test. Honestly.
If you know these names and when they won their first titles, should you be a promoter? No. Just because you know the house show results of a 1995 match between Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart doesn't mean you should be a promoter either.
Marketing. Take a class in marketing. And business. And whatever else. Become a salesman part-time. Because that's what you need. History of the business and history OF business.
Before I ever take the plunge into promoting, I will do these things.
I've wanted to share these ideas for some time. I figured I would wait until I made my triumphant (?) return back to Mississippi and unleash my opus upon the unsuspecting masses. But screw it. I'll talk about it now.
This isn't a blog about what's wrong with the business or what I would do to revolutionize the business. About how it's dead or overexposed or full of untrained and/or unskilled workers. These are problems, sure, but maybe indicative of a deeper problem that will probably never be fixed. As long as people dream to be anything, there will be people who don't really belong. The same goes with music, sports, movies, etc. There's always going to be a share of people who "are destroying the industry." So I won't harp on that.
The problem is everyone thinks they can run a wrestling promotion. I honestly think only people who understand human psychology and selling a product can really get anything out of the business. And that's what it is. A business. If you're not in it to make money then you are doing it for a hobby. Which there is nothing wrong with. I compare some indie wrestlers to actors who do community theater. They may be good or great or the complete shits. Do they plan to make it anywhere? Sometimes. In any case, if you are paid any amount of money, you are a professional wrestler. If it supplements your income and pays your bills, then you're doing even better. If you work for free or basically nothing, you're a hobbyist.
Wrestling is an age old social experiment. Good vs. evil with interactive elements. To me the Golden Age of wrestling has always been the 80s. And the most technical period with the best matches were the 70s. The problem is, a lot of great technical wrestlers aren't very charismatic. And vice versa.
I believe in Paul Heyman's philosophy of "accentuate the positives, hide the negatives." I also believe if you're going to run a professional wrestling company, then you need to have studied those who have made money in the business. Study the history. Read books. Know where the industry's been. Orville Brown, George Hackenschmidt, Jim Londos, Karl Gotch? Do you know these names? Or does your knowledge of the business only track back to 1998? Ask questions. Why were the territories so successful? Why did the NWA have a monopoly on wrestling for years and years? Who booked their territories into oblivion and who thrived even despite Vince McMahon's seizure of talent? Why was Vince's approach to wrestling so successful?
Besides knowing history, it's good to know how to be a good salesman. Wrestling came from the carnivals, full of good salesman (albeit shady). Putting on a show isn't just having a ring and a building and some guys. It's promoting a card. Putting out fliers, radio, TV, word-of-mouth. You HAVE to do this. Every successful promoter has done this.
Back to my point about the 70s and 80s. With the exception of the boom from the NWO and the Attitude Era, the 90s were pretty forgettable. And wrestling in the 2000s has had its moments, but wrestling right now isn't as hot as it once was. However, I believe melding the past and present together will always result in the future. CM Punk's recent success is because he's a student of the game. Jericho's recent re-emergence will have people talking up until Wrestlemania. The Nexus angle really, really worked for the short time it was going. All these moments play into history and what just works. Do what works.
The most successful indie promotions are the ones with great talent, good bookers, and creative concepts. CHIKARA, Ring of Honor, and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla are probably the top three companies in indie wrestling. They've carved out a niche, and that's what promoters need to do to get business. If there are five promotions all using the same talent within twenty miles of each other, why not just pool your resources together and put on ONE good show instead of five OK ones?
Ok, I'm rambling a bit.
So, without further ado, here's my vision. I can't say my ideas are completely original, but in the right place at the right time, I think it would work:
1. The Triangle of Doom: When you put "of Doom" it just sounds cooler. My promotion would run in three towns. Far enough away from each other to draw, but close enough that it would be a regional promotion. These three towns would be the basis for the promotion.
2. Credible Champions: For a new promotion, I'd only have one champion. And this guy would have to be reliable, a good worker, a good attitude, and have drawing power. If I don't have someone to build my promotion around, then I'm not doing it. New Japan Pro Wrestling has just had a record long title reign for their champion Hiroshi Tanahashi. It's amazing in this age of hot-shotting and short attention spans. To have a credible, strong champion is paramount.
3. Blending History: In this age, people love nostalgia. They love to look back at the glory days. With gimmicks that are homages or throw-backs, as well as completely original ideas never done before (I know it sounds like it couldn't happen, but I could dream up something). Everyone's gimmick would have to be approved by me. It's great to let guys run their own gimmick, but the most successful promotions always had someone tempering the creativity of their wrestlers. I think Wrestling Revolution Project has the right idea. They've took established wrestlers and given them new gimmicks. It's a fresh look on familiar faces.
4. Money Money Money: I'm not running a show unless I have the funds to do so. That means paying everyone what I've agreed to. I would book only limited workers, but I'd pay them good. So I'd expect an awesome show. If they didn't give me one, they wouldn't be used again.
5. One Man Operation: I have the final say on everything. The reason Vince McMahon is so successful is because he has the final say on everything. Say what you want about Vince, but he is the single most important figure in wrestling history. Not to say I wouldn't have other people helping me, but the complete creative direction of the company would be done by me.
6. Tournaments: Tournaments are one of the most prestigious ways to build up talent. Promotions in Japan love tournaments. And so do I. The Super 8 Tournament is one of the most recognized tournaments in America. Stars are born there. I'd have various "cups" through the year, culminating in crowning a tournament champion (who would be separate from the main champion). Several other indie promotions do this with varied success.
7. Blending Names with Homegrown Talent: I'd bring in names, but much like CHIKARA does, have them like a special attraction. Use that nostalgia factor to lure in the casual fans, but have your homegrown talent keep the curious fans coming back.
8. Use the Triangle of Doom to Keep Things Fresh: Like a mini version of the NWA glory days, I'd have my champion defend his title in the three towns I'm running, but always have the challengers rotating out. Therefore the champion could have three different feuds running in three different towns. I'd presumably book a heel as my first champion and have babyfaces from each of the three towns battle to dethrone him.
9. Make Gimmick Matches Special: I'd only use gimmick matches for blow-offs for feuds. Therefore I'd limit the amount of hardcore, ladder matches, or cage matches. Once in a blue moon only.
10. Training of All Sorts: I'd hire a trainer (a name) to run a school for me. All talent would have to train there in their spare time. I don't want to use anyone who doesn't stay in ring shape or improving their mic skills and promos. That said...
11. Limit Promos: Fans like promos. In moderation. I'd have more wrestling and less promos. I'd try to find unique ways to make up for promos. Various angles that utilize emotion or comedy. I believe comedy has its place in any promotion, but there has to be a sort of balance.
12. Try Cross-Promotion: I'd try to work with other promotions in my area to put together "super shows." I'd only do this every so often to make them special.
13. Good vs. Evil: There would be clear lines with my heels and babyfaces. Characters the fans can love or hate. No one who's "just there."
14. Fan Polls: I'd hand out questionnaires at the shows (just like restaurants do) and have more fan feedback than any other promotion. Having a "Fans Book the Show" night could give the fans a chance to put together their own card. One of my pet projects would be a Fan-Made Tournament, where the fans would seed their favorite wrestlers.
15. And Finally...I Won't Be Wrestling: I've had some awesome times in the four years I was actively wrestling. And I decided the best way to approach my own promotion would to not be one of the talents. Not an "authority figure," not a wrestler. Nothing. Just behind the scenes.
So...I think that's it. I plan to enact my vision at some point. Maybe not in my home state of Mississippi, but maybe in another place if and when I move back to America. Soaking in the experience of seeing puroresu in Japan has given me a new perspective on how wrestling can be approached.
I've always loved wrestling and passion can translate into success sometimes. I look forward to pursuing this dream in the future!
Hope you enjoyed it!
If you had to Google them, maybe pro wrestling isn't as important to you as you thought. Wrestling has and will always be a big part of my life. Meaning I study every aspect of the business. I believe everyone should be required to take a test before they ever become a promoter. Like a driver's test. Honestly.
If you know these names and when they won their first titles, should you be a promoter? No. Just because you know the house show results of a 1995 match between Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart doesn't mean you should be a promoter either.
Marketing. Take a class in marketing. And business. And whatever else. Become a salesman part-time. Because that's what you need. History of the business and history OF business.
Before I ever take the plunge into promoting, I will do these things.
I've wanted to share these ideas for some time. I figured I would wait until I made my triumphant (?) return back to Mississippi and unleash my opus upon the unsuspecting masses. But screw it. I'll talk about it now.
This isn't a blog about what's wrong with the business or what I would do to revolutionize the business. About how it's dead or overexposed or full of untrained and/or unskilled workers. These are problems, sure, but maybe indicative of a deeper problem that will probably never be fixed. As long as people dream to be anything, there will be people who don't really belong. The same goes with music, sports, movies, etc. There's always going to be a share of people who "are destroying the industry." So I won't harp on that.
The problem is everyone thinks they can run a wrestling promotion. I honestly think only people who understand human psychology and selling a product can really get anything out of the business. And that's what it is. A business. If you're not in it to make money then you are doing it for a hobby. Which there is nothing wrong with. I compare some indie wrestlers to actors who do community theater. They may be good or great or the complete shits. Do they plan to make it anywhere? Sometimes. In any case, if you are paid any amount of money, you are a professional wrestler. If it supplements your income and pays your bills, then you're doing even better. If you work for free or basically nothing, you're a hobbyist.
Wrestling is an age old social experiment. Good vs. evil with interactive elements. To me the Golden Age of wrestling has always been the 80s. And the most technical period with the best matches were the 70s. The problem is, a lot of great technical wrestlers aren't very charismatic. And vice versa.
I believe in Paul Heyman's philosophy of "accentuate the positives, hide the negatives." I also believe if you're going to run a professional wrestling company, then you need to have studied those who have made money in the business. Study the history. Read books. Know where the industry's been. Orville Brown, George Hackenschmidt, Jim Londos, Karl Gotch? Do you know these names? Or does your knowledge of the business only track back to 1998? Ask questions. Why were the territories so successful? Why did the NWA have a monopoly on wrestling for years and years? Who booked their territories into oblivion and who thrived even despite Vince McMahon's seizure of talent? Why was Vince's approach to wrestling so successful?
Besides knowing history, it's good to know how to be a good salesman. Wrestling came from the carnivals, full of good salesman (albeit shady). Putting on a show isn't just having a ring and a building and some guys. It's promoting a card. Putting out fliers, radio, TV, word-of-mouth. You HAVE to do this. Every successful promoter has done this.
Back to my point about the 70s and 80s. With the exception of the boom from the NWO and the Attitude Era, the 90s were pretty forgettable. And wrestling in the 2000s has had its moments, but wrestling right now isn't as hot as it once was. However, I believe melding the past and present together will always result in the future. CM Punk's recent success is because he's a student of the game. Jericho's recent re-emergence will have people talking up until Wrestlemania. The Nexus angle really, really worked for the short time it was going. All these moments play into history and what just works. Do what works.
The most successful indie promotions are the ones with great talent, good bookers, and creative concepts. CHIKARA, Ring of Honor, and Pro Wrestling Guerrilla are probably the top three companies in indie wrestling. They've carved out a niche, and that's what promoters need to do to get business. If there are five promotions all using the same talent within twenty miles of each other, why not just pool your resources together and put on ONE good show instead of five OK ones?
Ok, I'm rambling a bit.
So, without further ado, here's my vision. I can't say my ideas are completely original, but in the right place at the right time, I think it would work:
1. The Triangle of Doom: When you put "of Doom" it just sounds cooler. My promotion would run in three towns. Far enough away from each other to draw, but close enough that it would be a regional promotion. These three towns would be the basis for the promotion.
2. Credible Champions: For a new promotion, I'd only have one champion. And this guy would have to be reliable, a good worker, a good attitude, and have drawing power. If I don't have someone to build my promotion around, then I'm not doing it. New Japan Pro Wrestling has just had a record long title reign for their champion Hiroshi Tanahashi. It's amazing in this age of hot-shotting and short attention spans. To have a credible, strong champion is paramount.
3. Blending History: In this age, people love nostalgia. They love to look back at the glory days. With gimmicks that are homages or throw-backs, as well as completely original ideas never done before (I know it sounds like it couldn't happen, but I could dream up something). Everyone's gimmick would have to be approved by me. It's great to let guys run their own gimmick, but the most successful promotions always had someone tempering the creativity of their wrestlers. I think Wrestling Revolution Project has the right idea. They've took established wrestlers and given them new gimmicks. It's a fresh look on familiar faces.
4. Money Money Money: I'm not running a show unless I have the funds to do so. That means paying everyone what I've agreed to. I would book only limited workers, but I'd pay them good. So I'd expect an awesome show. If they didn't give me one, they wouldn't be used again.
5. One Man Operation: I have the final say on everything. The reason Vince McMahon is so successful is because he has the final say on everything. Say what you want about Vince, but he is the single most important figure in wrestling history. Not to say I wouldn't have other people helping me, but the complete creative direction of the company would be done by me.
6. Tournaments: Tournaments are one of the most prestigious ways to build up talent. Promotions in Japan love tournaments. And so do I. The Super 8 Tournament is one of the most recognized tournaments in America. Stars are born there. I'd have various "cups" through the year, culminating in crowning a tournament champion (who would be separate from the main champion). Several other indie promotions do this with varied success.
7. Blending Names with Homegrown Talent: I'd bring in names, but much like CHIKARA does, have them like a special attraction. Use that nostalgia factor to lure in the casual fans, but have your homegrown talent keep the curious fans coming back.
8. Use the Triangle of Doom to Keep Things Fresh: Like a mini version of the NWA glory days, I'd have my champion defend his title in the three towns I'm running, but always have the challengers rotating out. Therefore the champion could have three different feuds running in three different towns. I'd presumably book a heel as my first champion and have babyfaces from each of the three towns battle to dethrone him.
9. Make Gimmick Matches Special: I'd only use gimmick matches for blow-offs for feuds. Therefore I'd limit the amount of hardcore, ladder matches, or cage matches. Once in a blue moon only.
10. Training of All Sorts: I'd hire a trainer (a name) to run a school for me. All talent would have to train there in their spare time. I don't want to use anyone who doesn't stay in ring shape or improving their mic skills and promos. That said...
11. Limit Promos: Fans like promos. In moderation. I'd have more wrestling and less promos. I'd try to find unique ways to make up for promos. Various angles that utilize emotion or comedy. I believe comedy has its place in any promotion, but there has to be a sort of balance.
12. Try Cross-Promotion: I'd try to work with other promotions in my area to put together "super shows." I'd only do this every so often to make them special.
13. Good vs. Evil: There would be clear lines with my heels and babyfaces. Characters the fans can love or hate. No one who's "just there."
14. Fan Polls: I'd hand out questionnaires at the shows (just like restaurants do) and have more fan feedback than any other promotion. Having a "Fans Book the Show" night could give the fans a chance to put together their own card. One of my pet projects would be a Fan-Made Tournament, where the fans would seed their favorite wrestlers.
15. And Finally...I Won't Be Wrestling: I've had some awesome times in the four years I was actively wrestling. And I decided the best way to approach my own promotion would to not be one of the talents. Not an "authority figure," not a wrestler. Nothing. Just behind the scenes.
So...I think that's it. I plan to enact my vision at some point. Maybe not in my home state of Mississippi, but maybe in another place if and when I move back to America. Soaking in the experience of seeing puroresu in Japan has given me a new perspective on how wrestling can be approached.
I've always loved wrestling and passion can translate into success sometimes. I look forward to pursuing this dream in the future!
Hope you enjoyed it!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Drill Bits: Looking Towards 2012
So, 2011...Hmm...
I got married. Which has been awesome.
There was a massive earthquake in an area I used to live in. That was bad.
Radiation. Bad.
Ongoing trouble with back pain. Bad.
What else happened?
Worked on manga. Good.
Worked on stories. Good.
Uh...what else?
Went to a lot of awesome wrestling shows. Great!
Lost touch with a lot of friends. Bad.
Got back in touch with lost friends. Good.
Taught some English. Uh...good?
Learned some Japanese. Good.
So what am I doing in 2012? I don't know. Here's some ideas.
1. Work on more manga
2. See more wrestling shows
3. Train to be a knight (yes, really)
4. Teach more English
5. Be married and be nicer!
6. Finally find out the source of this mystery back pain
That's about it.
2011. Some great things. Some good things. Some bad things.
2012. Let's do it.
I got married. Which has been awesome.
There was a massive earthquake in an area I used to live in. That was bad.
Radiation. Bad.
Ongoing trouble with back pain. Bad.
What else happened?
Worked on manga. Good.
Worked on stories. Good.
Uh...what else?
Went to a lot of awesome wrestling shows. Great!
Lost touch with a lot of friends. Bad.
Got back in touch with lost friends. Good.
Taught some English. Uh...good?
Learned some Japanese. Good.
So what am I doing in 2012? I don't know. Here's some ideas.
1. Work on more manga
2. See more wrestling shows
3. Train to be a knight (yes, really)
4. Teach more English
5. Be married and be nicer!
6. Finally find out the source of this mystery back pain
That's about it.
2011. Some great things. Some good things. Some bad things.
2012. Let's do it.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Story Time: World Wide Wandering Wendigo Wrestler
(for the terribleminds.com challenge)
World Wide Wandering Wendigo Wrestler
by Philip Overby
Wally Wreckluse pulled his tights over his mangled jock from the previous night's wendigo wrangling. Not that any women in Mudmap had shown interest in Wally's oiled up physique and orange, ogre-esque appearance. They liked lumberjacks and bikers. Hunters and hockey players. Men's men.
This night pitted Wally against a wily wendigo called Goatdrinker. How he drank goats, Wally didn't know. Battle in a steel cage tonight. His home. No trees to hide behind. No mountains. Just Wally, hot oil, and steel
The announcer's voice crackled from a busted microphone. "On his way to the ring. From Parts Unknown. Weighing in at 295 pounds. The Jacked-Up Jaguar. The Blond Butcher of Bhutan..."
"Bhutan? I'm from Milwaukee." Wally danced in place like he was about to piss himself or kick someone's ass.
"...the Warlock Womb-thief of Wisconsin, Wally Wreckluse!" The announcer shouted. The drunk people in the crowd clapped.
The butt-rock music blared and Wally burst through the curtain, screaming "Come on!" and "Alright!" He clapped hands with a toothless woman in the front row, a man with a massive beard, and a kid eating a powdered donut. Wally got some jelly on his hand. He tried to play it off, wiping the strawberry smear across his chest like he just killed a buck.
He rattled the cage, yodeling to get the crowd behind him. They wanted blood though.
"Get in the zone, bro. Make him tap and get some gym time in before 10."
No music accompanied the wendigo. Handlers led the beast to the ring, his eyes crazed. His chains jangled as they took the blood-lusting beast inside.
"Here's Goatdrinker!" The announcer scaled up and out of the cage before the wendigo was unchained. Wally tried to smile, but in truth he shat his black trunks every time one of the beasts stood across from him. Winning was his only option. How else would he make a living if he couldn't twist abominable snow men with abdominal stretches. If he couldn't give the big boot to Bigfoot. Or, yes, suplex a Sasquatch. His livelihood relied on humiliating mythical forest monsters. If he couldn't do that, he just didn't know what he'd do.
The chains came off and the trainers scurried away. The cage door slammed behind Goatdrinker. A pinkish foam rolled from his mouth. His black within black eyes cold and dark.
The bell rang. Some woman hollered "Tear his fuckin' head off, boy!" Wally assumed she addressed him.
Adjusting his junk, Wally circled the beast, eyes locked on its leg. Always the weakness. Wendigo legs snapped like twigs. But those snapping jaws. Those ripping claws. Meat falls right off the bone like BBQ ribs if that wendigo gets its hold. The luchadore El Blowfish became quivering hamburger after a match with a wendigo named Warthog Assassin in Pittsburgh.
Wally shot in, but Goatdrinker was too spry and darted out of the way. No reaction. Just watching. A smart one. Wally looked for another opening, but he side-stepped.
He'd try a different approach. Brute strength.
"Let's go!" Wally rallied the comatose crowd and barreled into Goatdrinker with a dreaded double-axe handle to the jaw. The wendigo staggered back into the bars of the cage. Spat blood. Roared, much to the delight of the crowd and went for a cross-body block onto Wally. He ducked and the wendigo hurtled over him, cracking his face on the other side of the cage.
Wally then locked in a sleeper hold, clasping his arms together around Goatdrinker's throat. The beast sputtered, falling to one knee. The crowd chanted. "Wally! Wally!"
Then something curious happened. The wendigo talked. "Come on, brother. Let me win. My woman's here."
"Huh?"
"In the front row. Brunette in the red sweater." Goatdrinker gasped for air. "I won't hurt you much. I'll just spread that jelly around. It'll look like I just mauled the shit out of you."
"Uh, I won't get paid." Wally whispered to the fading wendigo. "This is my life, man."
"I'll make it worth it." Goatdrinker said. "Rematch of the century. In Toronto. I've got connections. Believe me. I can hook this up."
"I don't know, dude. If this gets out--" The wendigo's arms went rubbery. The crowd whipped into a frenzy now, even the hookers and junkies who outside came in to join in the fun.
"Seriously. Do me a solid." The wendigo mustered. "Please."
Wally, his credibility on the line, realized he had to do something.
He squeezed tighter. Goatdrinker tapped.
Victory. He'd won the day. There would be no rematch.
Wally hopped out of the cage to approach the sexy woman in the red sweater. She looked Wally up and down as he flexed his pectoral muscles, putting her in a beefcake-induced trance.
Wally, that glistening stud, extended his hand to the woman. "Hi. Name's Wally. Couldn't help noticing you as I totally choked that guy. That's how hot you are."
The girl suddenly burst into tears. "I'm pregnant you jerk!" She slapped Wally across the face.
The crowd "oohed" as she stormed out of the building. When Wally looked back into the cage, Goatdrinker kicking invisible sand, he knew what he had to do. He couldn't ruin this. Take money away from a struggling forest creature and his family.
"I'm not finished with you. I want more! Me and you. Next week. For the Mudmap Championship."
The crowd exploded as Goatdrinker jumped out of the cage and mauled the shit out of Wally. Wally held his chest, the jelly smeared into his well-sprayed skin.
"Call an ambulance!" Wally writhed on the floor. As Goatdrinker walked away, Wally thought he saw him wink.
Wally screamed. "Get ready for vengeance, bro!"
People took pictures, covered their mouths in shock. As Wally screamed, "God, so much blood!" There was more money to be made. For everyone.
World Wide Wandering Wendigo Wrestler
by Philip Overby
Wally Wreckluse pulled his tights over his mangled jock from the previous night's wendigo wrangling. Not that any women in Mudmap had shown interest in Wally's oiled up physique and orange, ogre-esque appearance. They liked lumberjacks and bikers. Hunters and hockey players. Men's men.
This night pitted Wally against a wily wendigo called Goatdrinker. How he drank goats, Wally didn't know. Battle in a steel cage tonight. His home. No trees to hide behind. No mountains. Just Wally, hot oil, and steel
The announcer's voice crackled from a busted microphone. "On his way to the ring. From Parts Unknown. Weighing in at 295 pounds. The Jacked-Up Jaguar. The Blond Butcher of Bhutan..."
"Bhutan? I'm from Milwaukee." Wally danced in place like he was about to piss himself or kick someone's ass.
"...the Warlock Womb-thief of Wisconsin, Wally Wreckluse!" The announcer shouted. The drunk people in the crowd clapped.
The butt-rock music blared and Wally burst through the curtain, screaming "Come on!" and "Alright!" He clapped hands with a toothless woman in the front row, a man with a massive beard, and a kid eating a powdered donut. Wally got some jelly on his hand. He tried to play it off, wiping the strawberry smear across his chest like he just killed a buck.
He rattled the cage, yodeling to get the crowd behind him. They wanted blood though.
"Get in the zone, bro. Make him tap and get some gym time in before 10."
No music accompanied the wendigo. Handlers led the beast to the ring, his eyes crazed. His chains jangled as they took the blood-lusting beast inside.
"Here's Goatdrinker!" The announcer scaled up and out of the cage before the wendigo was unchained. Wally tried to smile, but in truth he shat his black trunks every time one of the beasts stood across from him. Winning was his only option. How else would he make a living if he couldn't twist abominable snow men with abdominal stretches. If he couldn't give the big boot to Bigfoot. Or, yes, suplex a Sasquatch. His livelihood relied on humiliating mythical forest monsters. If he couldn't do that, he just didn't know what he'd do.
The chains came off and the trainers scurried away. The cage door slammed behind Goatdrinker. A pinkish foam rolled from his mouth. His black within black eyes cold and dark.
The bell rang. Some woman hollered "Tear his fuckin' head off, boy!" Wally assumed she addressed him.
Adjusting his junk, Wally circled the beast, eyes locked on its leg. Always the weakness. Wendigo legs snapped like twigs. But those snapping jaws. Those ripping claws. Meat falls right off the bone like BBQ ribs if that wendigo gets its hold. The luchadore El Blowfish became quivering hamburger after a match with a wendigo named Warthog Assassin in Pittsburgh.
Wally shot in, but Goatdrinker was too spry and darted out of the way. No reaction. Just watching. A smart one. Wally looked for another opening, but he side-stepped.
He'd try a different approach. Brute strength.
"Let's go!" Wally rallied the comatose crowd and barreled into Goatdrinker with a dreaded double-axe handle to the jaw. The wendigo staggered back into the bars of the cage. Spat blood. Roared, much to the delight of the crowd and went for a cross-body block onto Wally. He ducked and the wendigo hurtled over him, cracking his face on the other side of the cage.
Wally then locked in a sleeper hold, clasping his arms together around Goatdrinker's throat. The beast sputtered, falling to one knee. The crowd chanted. "Wally! Wally!"
Then something curious happened. The wendigo talked. "Come on, brother. Let me win. My woman's here."
"Huh?"
"In the front row. Brunette in the red sweater." Goatdrinker gasped for air. "I won't hurt you much. I'll just spread that jelly around. It'll look like I just mauled the shit out of you."
"Uh, I won't get paid." Wally whispered to the fading wendigo. "This is my life, man."
"I'll make it worth it." Goatdrinker said. "Rematch of the century. In Toronto. I've got connections. Believe me. I can hook this up."
"I don't know, dude. If this gets out--" The wendigo's arms went rubbery. The crowd whipped into a frenzy now, even the hookers and junkies who outside came in to join in the fun.
"Seriously. Do me a solid." The wendigo mustered. "Please."
Wally, his credibility on the line, realized he had to do something.
He squeezed tighter. Goatdrinker tapped.
Victory. He'd won the day. There would be no rematch.
Wally hopped out of the cage to approach the sexy woman in the red sweater. She looked Wally up and down as he flexed his pectoral muscles, putting her in a beefcake-induced trance.
Wally, that glistening stud, extended his hand to the woman. "Hi. Name's Wally. Couldn't help noticing you as I totally choked that guy. That's how hot you are."
The girl suddenly burst into tears. "I'm pregnant you jerk!" She slapped Wally across the face.
The crowd "oohed" as she stormed out of the building. When Wally looked back into the cage, Goatdrinker kicking invisible sand, he knew what he had to do. He couldn't ruin this. Take money away from a struggling forest creature and his family.
"I'm not finished with you. I want more! Me and you. Next week. For the Mudmap Championship."
The crowd exploded as Goatdrinker jumped out of the cage and mauled the shit out of Wally. Wally held his chest, the jelly smeared into his well-sprayed skin.
"Call an ambulance!" Wally writhed on the floor. As Goatdrinker walked away, Wally thought he saw him wink.
Wally screamed. "Get ready for vengeance, bro!"
People took pictures, covered their mouths in shock. As Wally screamed, "God, so much blood!" There was more money to be made. For everyone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
